Planning a wedding successfully is all about how well you can put together the details while coordinating with your wedding vendors. The details are the HARDEST part about planning a wedding.

In this blog, I’m going to go over all the nitty gritty details that you will need to think about for your wedding. Not that you have to do them all but taking the time to figure out if they are right for you is an important part of wedding planning.

What are the details of wedding planning? Attire, small decorations and timeline. These you will need to do while planning for your core vendors. I will give you some estimated timelines of when/ where along the lines of planning you should start working on the details.

Attire

What are your first thoughts when I say “Attire”? You should be thinking about everything from the dresses and tuxes to the socks and underwear you’ll be wearing on your wedding day. This also includes what your wedding party will be wearing.

Wedding Dress

Let’s start with the bride’s wedding dress (if there is a bride). First thing that people ask when it comes to the wedding dress is “When should I get my dress”. Ladies- you need to get that thing 10 months or so before your wedding.

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “But I want to lose weight before my wedding!” or “That’s so far away! What if I gain weight?!” My answer to you is: find a dress that fits you NOW. It can take up to 8 months for some wedding dresses to be made and shipped to the bridal salon where you originally tried it on. You don’t have time to worry about weight. The good news is that there are such things as alterations! 😀 Thank goodness!

Once you get your dress, you’ll want to schedule alterations. Especially if you want alterations done by a wedding dress alterations specialist. Yes, there are tailors out there that are specific to the wedding industry. You don’t have to find a wedding only specialist you can get it done by tons of other tailors that work with wedding dresses.

I got mine done by my local tailor. Literally the closest dry cleaners to my house happened to have a tailor on site and she could do wedding dresses! I had her make me a sash from my mom’s wedding dress (and sashes for my sisters too for when they get married). Then for my dress I had her take in some from my waste, expand the shoulder straps (because I have big shoulders), add a bustle and put cups into my dress so that I didn’t have to wear a bra. Total was $212.87.

Seems expensive right? Well David’s Bridal quoted me for $380 soooo I felt like I got a deal.

Why are these prices so high? It really depends on the style and fabric used on your wedding dress as well as what you want done. I am super happy that I didn’t have any beading or silk on my dress because that would have made it more expensive by a lot! It also would have cost more if I needed the dress taken out instead of in. Why? Because then the wedding tailor would have had to get more fabric that matched my wedding dress. You should look to have your initial alterations done 2 months from your wedding and your final fitting 2 weeks before your wedding.

PROTIP: Get a dress that is a little bigger on you. If you try on a dress in the store that is a size 6 and it fits you snugly, get a size up. It’ll save you for alterations closer to your date.

Tux

We’ve talked a lot about the Wedding Dress. But what the guy wears is equally important.

First, you will want to think about what type of outfit you want to wear. Think about the setting that you will be in on your wedding day. Are you outside? Is it going to be hot? If so, maybe you should think about not wearing a jacket and going more casual with some suspenders and a tie? Or maybe you’ll want to wear a jacket to cover the sweat stains. Or if you are getting married somewhere classy and having a black tie event, what style tux looks best on you? Are you going with traditional black? Or is white more your style? Whatever it is, make sure that you are rocking a look that suits you and your wedding style.

Next, you will want to think about whether you would want to match or stand out from your grooms people (if you have some). If you do want to stand out how do you want to stand out? Did you want to wear a jacket but then have your groomsmen not wear a jacket? Or maybe go with a different color or pattern of jacket or tie? There are tons of ways to stand out so think about which way works best for you in the way that you want to express yourself.

Finally, let’s talk accessories for men. We all know the girls are going to be wearing some gorgeous bling but guys- you can too! There are watches, tie holders, kerchiefs, ties, socks and shoes to be thinking about when making your attire choices.

You should be looking into this about 6 months prior to your wedding. There are online rental shops like the Black Tux or Generation Tux that you can order from anywhere and get it sized to fit you. Or you can go to Men’s Wearhouse or other local formal wear boutiques to buy and/or rent your look for your wedding. Get your groomsmen looks or have them look into it about the same time. You will also need time for alterations but typically these can happen in-house from the place you got them.

Stationery

Alright, let’s talk stationery! These are typically the printed materials that let your guests know what’s happening. From Save the Dates to programs and menus there is some sort of stationary that you will need for your wedding.

Save The Dates

Do you even need Save the Dates?! Let’s talk a little bit about where Save The Dates came from originally. At first these were the invitations that you sent to your out of town guests that needed time to plan their travel and potentially save up money in order to come. Now they’ve become a staple in the wedding world where everyone receives a pretty photo with your wedding date on them that your friends and family can put on their fridge for months.

So, do you even need them? The answer is: if you have out of town guests that need time to plan their travel, YES! If all of your guests are in town, NO! Still, Save the Dates are super awesome to have and they make for an amazing memoir for your family and friends. This is especially true if you plan on having a photo of the two of you on the save the dates.

PROTIP: You should send save the dates 6-8 months prior to your wedding. If you have guests coming in from out of country make that 8-12 months.

Invitations

What are the etiquette rules for invitations? The best way to think about it is who is hosting (or paying) for the wedding? Traditionally it is the bride’s parents that paid for the wedding. In this case your wording would look a little something like this:

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe request the pleasure of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Jane Ann

to

Cory S. Smith

Saturday, the seventeenth of June

two thousand and twenty

At six o’clock in the evening

Plaza Hotel

New York, New York

Reception to follow

If both parents are hosting:

John and Allison Joe

along with Mark and Sarah Smith

invite you to share and celebrate the marriage of their children

Jane Ann

and Cory Smith

Saturday, June 17, 2020

at 4:30 in the afternoon

Plaza Hotel

New York, New York

Reception to follow

If the couple is hosting:

The honor of your presence

is requested at the marriage of

Jane Ann Doe

to Cory Steven Smith

Saturday, the seventeenth of May

two thousand and twenty

at half past four in the afternoon

PROTIP: Traditionally invitations are sent out 6-8 weeks prior to wedding date.

Escort Cards

The last thing about stationary I want to discuss is Escort Cards. These are tiny cards that say the guests name, maybe where they are sitting and what meal that they chose. Typically these cards are for when you have a plated dinner. They are used by the wait staff to deliver the right meal to the right person and increases efficiency of dinner being passed.

There is a debate whether you should put them on the table for guests to pick up or if you should already have them on the plate. I think both ways are correct and just depends on how you want your guest flow to work. If you were to put your escort cards on the plate of the guest just be sure to have a seating chart so your guests aren’t wandering around aimlessly trying to find their seat right before dinner. This could make you late on your introductions (if you are doing that).

Stationary is a great way to include a little bit of personal touch to your wedding and fun for the guests. When getting your stationary printed be sure to include the price for stamps and envelopes into your price estimate. Also if you are wanting hand addressed envelopes, you will need to find yourself a caterer.

PROTIP: When asking for a quote from a stationer be sure to include information like the style you’re looking for, if you want them customized some way, when you need them, and how many you will need. You will need at least 2 weeks buffer to mail your invites, so be sure when giving your stationer your “need by” date to have it 2 weeks prior to when you want your guests to have them. You will be glad you did!

Detail Decor Items

Up next, I want to talk about the personal decor items. These items give your wedding more personality. There are all kinds of different small decor items that you can have in your wedding. I am going to list several of the more popular items that I have seen.

Guestbook

Traditionally, your guestbook was an actual book where your wedding guests sign their name and potentially left a message for the couple. Now-a-days there are tons of guest book ideas that are more than just a book and really show off the couple’s personality.

There are wood plaques with the couple’s name on them.  There are wine bottles that for each of the major anniversary dates like first year,  fifth year and 10th year anniversaries that the guests can sign. There are decorative mailboxes for the couples new house. You can also get a custom painter to come to your wedding and help the guests paint you a wedding day painting with their names throughout.

The important thing about your guestbook is that it represents you as a couple. Hopefully, it is something that you are going to keep for years to come. Guest books are a nice memento to have two remember your big day and who was a part of it.

Memory tables

Memory tables or in honor of tables are tables that hold pictures or memories of loved ones that the couple has lost but wish it could have been there for their wedding. This type of table is a great way to honor those that you have lost. Especially when is is fit close family member like a father or mother or grandparent of either the bride or the groom.

Memory Aisle

One of the coolest ways that I have found couples to add personality to their wedding is through a memory asile. Memory aisles are where you have pictures of your relationship (and maybe even your lives prior to meeting) from start to your wedding day lined up in order. This is especially good when you want to give your guests something to do during cocktail hour or before your ceremony. The memory aisle adds a lot of unique touches and personality to your wedding the core.

While having small decor items adds personal touches to your wedding and is a great way for you to make your wedding unique, be sure to not go overboard. I have seen a lot of weddings where couples get over excited about all of the different ideas that they could do for their wedding. Adding too much personality can lead to a lot more stress and a lot more setup time required for your wedding. Be sure when you are thinking of all of the different ideas and personal touches that you can add to your wedding that you remember to think about how much time you will have for set up and who will be setting up in order to do this. If you and your fiancé are planning to personally setup your wedding try to limit the additional items so that you are not overwhelmed on your wedding day.

Timelines

Ack! There are just too many timelines when planning a wedding! Can I get an AMEN?!

Seriously though, there is a timeline to follow for planning your whole wedding. Then there is a week of timeline. Then multiple Day-of timelines for you, your wedding party, your guests and your vendors! It’s crazy to think you need to make so many timelines, but they are all important.

To tell the truth, when I make Day-of timelines, I typically keep them all on the same spreadsheet with columns saying “You”, “Wedding Party” and “Vendors”. This is because people will be doing stuff around the same time and I find it easy to look at one sheet for them all versus having to check on different sheets who is doing what.

So how do you go about creating your day of timeline? (notice how I said “your” and not “vendors” “wedding party”… YOUR TIMELINE)

My favorite method of figuring out your day of timeline is first by figuring out when you want your ceremony to be. This is your most important milestone! You literally can not get married without the ceremony. From there I like to work forwards and backwards through the day.

So let’s say your wedding ceremony starts at 5:00 PM.

Let’s start off by working backwards. First, you want you and your wedding party to be at the venue 30min to an hour prior to your ceremony time. This gives you time to hide/get in place prior to your guests showing up.

Are you getting first looks done or any photos prior to your wedding?

First Looks typically take about 45 min-an hour to get the best photos. Getting ready photos typically take about 30 mins. If you want photos of you, your fiance and the whole wedding party, add another 30 mins to the time for photos.

Are you having your hair and makeup done?

Bridal hair and makeup takes about 1 hour and a half to do. For every bridesmaid getting hair done add 30 minutes and for every bridesmaid getting makeup done add 15 minutes. Plan to have your photographer arrive around 15 min prior to your hair and makeup artist finishing to get some “getting ready” photos.

PROTIP: Getting Ready photos are staged! You want to make sure that you look good for all of your wedding photos so why would you want the photographer to take photos of you not already completely ready save for maybe some lipstick?

Now let’s focus on what happens AFTER your ceremony…

If your ceremony starts at 5pm, when does it end?

This depends on the type of ceremony that you are having. Typically for all nondenominational, civil, same sex, non-religious ceremonies they take about 30 minutes. If you are planning a religious ceremony like in a catholic church or full jewish ceremony, expect about an hour. This includes the processional, ceremony and recessional.

Are you having a cocktail hour?

Add an hour 😉

After cocktail hour what events are you planning before dinner?

Introductions? Add 15 min. First Dance? Add 5 min. Parent Dances? 5 min per dance. Speeches? Typically speeches are about 5 min per person (give or take). Blessing? Add another 5 min. These can happen before or after dinner. Feel free to choose when you add them!

What’s for dinner?

Are you planning a buffet? Most weddings take about an hour for dinner. If you are having a buffet for over 100 guests, add about 20 mins for every 50 guests above 100 for the extra time it’ll take to go through the line to get food. Having a 6 course meal? I’d estimate about 2 hours.

After Dinner Events

Ok these are a little different from the original organization of the timeline. Mainly because these events are put into your dancing timeline between the end of dinner and the end of your event. Scatter them appropriately to fit how you want.

Cake Cutting: Add 15 min (be sure to warn your photographer of when this is happening)

Bouquet Toss: 5 min

Garter Removal: 5 min

Garter Toss: 5 min

Shoe Game: 10 min

Anniversary Dance: 5 min

Dollar Dance: 5 min

PROTIP: I always make the songs 5 minutes even if it’s a short 1.30 min song because of the time it can take to get you onto the dance floor and off. If it’s under, GREAT! You can use that extra time for other things.

What are you ending your night with?

Sparklers take about 15 min to get your guests outside and sparkler in hand. Same with bubbles or anything that your guests need to throw. If you’re ending with a last song, have it set for 5 min before your reception ends. It’ll give the DJ/Band some wiggle room if one of the songs runs long.

As you can see, planning a wedding can come with a lot of work. But knowing how to plan and what you need to look for while planning your wedding can help you reduce the stress of trying to figure it all out by yourself! If you are looking for an even easier solution to planning your wedding be sure to check out our app EventSlayer on iOS right now! It has awesome planning tips along your journey as well as a budgeting tool that can help you keep track.

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